Once
the Church has been booked for the wedding, the vicar will probably
ask both bride & groom to attend a meeting to discuss
their forthcoming marriage, and to come to an understanding about the
way a Christian marriage works. At this meeting they will discuss the
type of ceremony and the readings and music they would like.
There are three types of vows
that can be said at a church ceremony:
 | The 1662 Solemnization of
Matrimony (from the Book of Common Prayer).
| The 1966 Solemnisation of
Matrimony (Alternative Services, Series 1).
| The 1977 Marriage Service
(Alternative Services, Series 3; later included in the Alternative
Service Book 1980). |
| |
The two most commonly used are
the traditional words of the 1662 service that contains a promise to
obey, and the 1977 service where the language is more modern and the
obey part is optional.
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The
1977 Marriage Service:
| The bride and groom and
congregation all stand before the vicar
| The vicar will give an
introduction to the marriage
| The congregation then sit down
and readings may be read. If there are two or three, a Psalm or a
hymn may be sung between them.
| The bride and groom continue
to stand before the vicar, who will give a speech on the
significance of marriage in the eyes of God. |
| | |
| The minister will then say to
the congregation: |
"But first I am required
to ask anyone present who knows a reason why these persons may not
lawfully marry, to declare it now."
| The vicar says to the couple: |
"The vows you are about
to take are to be made in the name of God, who is judge of all and who
knows all the secrets of our hearts: therefore if either of you knows a
reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now."
| The vicar will ask the
congregation to stand and says to the groom: |
"(...), will you take
(...) to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and
protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as
you both shall live?"
| The groom answers "I
will". |
| The minister then says to the
bride: |
"(...), will
you take (...) to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him,
honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as
long as you both shall live?"
| The bride answers "I
will".
| The vicar asks : |
|
"Who gives this woman to
be married to this man?"
| The bride's father replies
"I do".
| He places his daughter's right
hand on the vicar's hand, who then places the bride's hand on the
groom's. (You do not have to include this part of the ceremony,
especially if the bride is not given away by her father)
| The bride and groom turn to
face each other the groom takes the bride's right hand and says to
her: |
| |
"I, (...), take
you,(...), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for
better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to
love and to cherish, (or to love, cherish and worship) till death us do
part, according to God's holy law; and this is my solemn vow."
| The bride takes the groom's
right hand and says: |
"I, (...), take you,
(...), to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for
better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to
love and to cherish, (or to love, cherish, and obey) till death us do
part, according to God's holy law; and this is my solemn vow."
| The couple loose hands again.
The best man places the ring(s) on the vicar's prayer book. The
vicar says: |
"Heavenly Father, by your
blessing, let this ring be to (...) and (...) a symbol of unending love
and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they may
have made this day; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."
| The groom places the ring on
the bride's fourth finger of her left hand. He holds it in place and
then says: |
"I give you this ring as
a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give
to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."
| If the bride is also giving a
ring to the groom then she does this and holds it on the fourth
finger of the groom's left hand: |
"I give you this ring as
a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give
to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit."
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The vicar pronounces the couple
husband and wife, and says that they are married in the eyes of the
church.
The bride and groom are then
invited to kiss
| The vicar then joins the
couple's right hands together and says: |
"That which
God has joined together, let not man divide."
| The husband and wife kneel for
the vicar's blessing and the congregation may also kneel whilst the
vicar says a blessing, prayer and/or hymn. |
"God the Father, God the
Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord
mercifully grant you the riches of his grace, that you may please him
both in body and soul, and, living together in faith and love, may
receive the blessings of eternal life. Amen."
The prayers that take place can
include the following:
"Heavenly Father, maker
of all things, you enable us to share in your work of creation. Bless
this couple in the gift and care of children, that their home may be a
place of love, security, and truth, and their children grow up to know
and love you in your Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."
and/or:
"Lord and Saviour Jesus
Christ, who shared at Nazareth the life of an earthly home: reign in the
home of these your servants as Lord and King; give them grace to
minister to others as you have ministered to men, and grant that by deed
and word they may be witnessed of your saving love to those among whom
they live; for the sake of your holy name. Amen."
| The vicar leads the
congregation in saying The Lord's Prayer.
| The vicar blesses the couple
and the congregation, by saying:
"God the Holy Trinity
make you strong in faith and love, defend you on every side, and
guide you in truth and peace; and the blessing of God almighty, the
Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be among you and remain with
you always. Amen."
The service ends with a
celebratory hymn, after which the bride and groom procede back down
the aisle together as husband and wife to where they sign the
register.
|
|
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The
Signing of the Register
The congregation stay seated. Two
witnesses are required to be present at the signing of the register.
Traditionally this is the best man and chief bridesmaid but if you
prefer, family members or those you wished to play a special role in the
day may do the honours. During the signing of the register, music is
usually played in the church to the congregation, so now is the time to
have a friend play a piece if you prefer. Since the signing of the
register is not part of the religious service, non-religious music and
songs may be performed.
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The
Recessional
The Bride and
Groom's exit from the church is accompanied by the recessional music.
If you have a flower girl as one
of the bridesmaids, it is at this point that she will walk ahead and
scatter petals. The best man and chief bridesmaid follow behind the
bride and groom, and then the ushers and bridesmaids are paired
together. The bride's mother walks with the groom's father, followed by
the groom's mother with the bride's father.
The rest of the congregation
follow and throw confetti or rice or even blow bubbles over the bride
and groom.
The photographs can now take
place before heading off to the reception.
