Selecting a spouse
Hindu marriages are
arranged by parents. They select mates best suited for their
children by examining personal qualities, education, and social
status of a prospective partner. Because their concepts of
reincarnation and karma keep the Hindu caste system alive, the
people accept their station in life and thereby marry within their
caste.
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For many Hindus the caste
system remains strong, especially in Indian villages where 75
percent of the population resides. Castes are related to the
traditional occupations which are passed from father to son and
influence who a Hindu marries, even with whom a person shares
food. The castes are---
1. The Brahmans who are
priests and philosophers.
2. The Kshatriyas who are the warriors responsible for military
service and sustaining the law.
3. The Vaishyas are those responsible for trade and commerce.
4. The Shudras are manual laborers.
5. The low-caste masses called 'untouchables
The higher the caste, the
greater the purity. If a person from a higher caste accidentally
touches an untouchable, he must bathe and perform a ritual to
regain purity. More achievements are expected from the higher
castes than from the lower ones.
Years ago, parents arranged
marriages for their children while they were babies or very young.
Compatibility between the two families was of primary concern, for
a young daughter had to live with her husband's extended family.
They believed if young people grew up together, they could learn
over time how to understand and adjust to each other's manners.
The girl did not have to leave her parents to live with her
husband and in-laws until she matured. In that case, she just
visited them. Because the wedding occurred before puberty, the
girl was a virgin and her parents did not have to be concerned
about their daughter having a child out of wedlock.
Today, child marriages are
forbidden, and girls can marry only after they are 14 years of
age. Young girls are not permitted to have any other boyfriends
prior to marriage and are expected to remain virgins. Marriages
are arranged by parents, but now with the consent of their son or
daughter. (Some parents consider whether or not their children's
horoscopes are compatible.) Marriages are arranged with the
expectation that love will grow and blossom throughout a lifetime.
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The Hindu Marriage
During the Hindu wedding
ceremony, the bride and groom take the sapta-padi or seven steps
together, promises led by a priest or Brahmin. The couple takes
the sapta-padi before God, the Radiant One, symbolized by fire and
light. Thus, their promises are witnessed by God's wisdom, truth,
and justice.
Today�s Hindu weddings are
celebrated lavishly by family and friends. They also provide an
opportunity for the parents to observe prospective eligible
prospects for their other unmarried children.
The wedding usually takes
place at the bride's home with the bride wearing a beautiful sari.
Usually a large tent is erected and filled with beautiful interior
decor: flowers, colorful personal adornment, and jewelry. Other
places for the wedding are a garden, courtyard of the bride's
house, a blocked-off street or square. Weddings are elaborate
celebrations with about 100 relatives gathering for the occasion.
Guests enjoy dining and lunch on their three-day visit. Sumitra
Singh's father was so pleased on the occasion of his daughter's
wedding that he had roses thrown to the earth from an airplane.
Because people's wealth and
status differ and every state within India has its own customs,
language, and manner of dress, Indian marriage customs and
ceremonies vary.
Pre-wedding customs:
When the groom, his relatives, and friends arrive at the bride's
town, the bride's parents hold a welcome ceremony. After the groom
dines at the bride's home, the bride and groom stand on a
decorated wood plank as priests hold a curtain between them. While
the bride's bridal party (maternal uncle and bridesmaids) stand
behind the bride, the priests chant marriage songs and the guests
shower rice and other grains over the couple.
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Wedding ceremony:
The priest or Brahmin officiates at the wedding ceremony. The
wedding begins when the curtain is removed and garlands of
sandalwood chips are placed around the necks of the bride and
groom.
Bridal upliftment of
Dharma:
The bride's father gives his daughter to the groom for the
upliftment of Dharma. The father includes his daughter in the
three Purusharthas: Dharma for right conduct, Artha for
prosperity, and Karma for the enjoyment of legitimate
gratification.
Marriage symbols:
After the bride applies sandalwood paste to the groom's
forehead, he makes a round red mark on her forehead for her to
display as long as they are married. The offerings of puffed rice
and purified butter from the hands of the bride and groom are
thrown into the fire, representing the Radiant One, while the
priest removes the darkness by chanting more mantras, which are
blessings.
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Vows:
Vows in a Hindu marriage are made before a fire that
represents the deity, the Radiant One; thus vows are witnessed by
the God's wisdom, truth, and justice. The husband accepts his wife
as a token of good fortune so they can assume their Hindu life
together. The groom vows to always include his bride and to
consult her. While the groom takes the bride's hand and leads her
around the fire, mantras are said. These mantras include accepting
the responsibilities of fidelity, love, mutual respect, and
procreation for as long as they live. As the priest chants the
seven steps, the bride and groom step closer to each other. The
couples start walking where the rice is heaped on one side.
Holding hands, they take the sapta-padi, seven steps symbolic of
their common journey through life. As they circle around the
sacred fire pot, they agree to do the following:
h Earn
a living for their family and respect their abundance.
h Live
a healthy lifestyle for each other.
h Be
concerned for the partner's welfare, happiness and
friendship
throughout their
religious-centered lives.
h
Eat and drink together and be with each other on special
occasions.
h Desire
children for whom they will be responsible and love.
h
Adapt to the other person at any given time and place.
Then, the bridegroom
recites the traditional mantras to the bride, including:
I am the words and you are
the melody, I am the melody and you are the words.
Blessings:
The bride's parents present gifts to the groom. Cotton is tied
around the bride and groom while blessings for a long and happy
life are given. The bride washes her hands, then bride and groom
pray that their prosperity, success, and Dharma will be fulfilled.
Placing of the floral
love necklace:
The bridegroom places a floral love necklace around his bride's
neck while he asks her to accompany him in his Hindu activities.
Another wedding necklace, a gold or silver chain with gold
semicircles and black beads from both families, symbolic of the
union of the two families, is also worn.
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